Sometimes you have to wonder if there isn't just a little bit of over-kill in Mom's care. Oh, don't get me wrong, I think the staff at the nursing home takes very good care of her. And I'm sure in this age of lawsuits and litigation it is always safe to err on the side of caution. But sometimes you have to wonder if the fear of being sued makes for many cases of overkill.
That said, King and I have been on the giving end of a lawsuit. I have little use or tolerance for people who sue. Don't even joke about it around me.
But I digress.
Mom has Dysphagia -- a fancy name for difficulty swallowing. Apparently it is common in people who have had strokes or who have dementia. Mom falls into both categories. This isn't just a problem with swallowing foods, Mom can choke and sputter while drinking a glass of water. I believe the staff at the nursing home has had to use the Heimlich maneuver on Mom twice when she has choked on food. That can be a scary thing.
So Mom has joined the ranks of those who "enjoy" the benefits of having a thickening agent added to her beverages. There is a name for this stuff, but at the risk of being sued I will not mention it here.
Suffice it to say, it's gross. Her chocolate milk becomes pudding, her water becomes something that looks like gelatin. You can actually turn her glass over and the stuff inside plops out. I can understand how this prevents her from choking on liquids --after her first sip (or whatever it is one does to ingest this stuff) Mom doesn't finish it. Perhaps that is the reason she is hoarding drinking glasses.
I have a cousin who had a stroke many, many years ago. His wife related a story of how he was in a rehab facility and the occupational therapist came into the room and suggested he use a thickening agent for a while. His 95-year-old roommate sat up in bed and shouted, "Don't do it!"
I guess it's pretty obvious my sisters and I aren't big fans of this stuff. And therein lies the rub. . . do you take it away from her and run the risk of her choking on her water, or do you make her eat/drink this stuff knowing she doesn't like it? Where does one draw the line with a 91 year old?
My sisters and I take Mom out for breakfast every Saturday. Mom can no longer order from a menu -- she can read the words, but they have no meaning -- so we order for her. It's her one day a week to eat what she likes (or what she used to like, who knows if she still does) and drink coffee. We will take full responsibility for her. She loves the coffee. She will empty her cup while ours are still half full. She will tip her empty cup forward and peer into it, a look of disappointment on her face. But when the waitress comes around for refills Mom almost always puts her hand over her cup. . . she doesn't want more.
There is no way of knowing what she is thinking. I suspect, however, she is obsessing about whether we are taking her someplace different to live and if not, how she will be able to find he way to her room. I think she is convinced we will drop her off at the door and wave goodbye, leaving her to her own devices to find her way.
Or maybe she's just anxious to get back and drink her chocolate milk with a spoon.
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