Lessons learned at my Mother's knee

Did you ever notice how everyone seems to be peeking over the fence making certain no one has it better than they do? Or if someone is commenting (ok, complaining) about something in their life that they don’t like, another person will chime in and tell their story of woe which tops the original story?

It’s all called one-up-man-ship.

I’m not certain why it is, but it seems quite prevalent throughout society today. One-up-man-ship and religion are probably the two biggest reasons for war. It’s no wonder countries can’t get along when neighbors and friends can’t get along.

Then there’s the “But s/he started it,” tale of placing the blame.

I pulled that one on Mom . . . once.  It went over like a cement duck.

I don’t recall the circumstances, but I do remember there was a regular neighborhood war between several kids. Back then most parents were smart enough to stay out of childhood spats knowing children would fight and quarrel and make up the next day. Older more mature adults were wise enough to know it was best not to get involved.

It was a rude awakening for me when our children were small and I found parents would become involved in their children’s battles.  I watched many adult friendships fall by the wayside because children would fight and parents would join the fray.  What great lessons for children. 

However, I digress.

I remember coming into the house full of indignation about some travesty that had occurred. Mom informed me I needed to apologize.  I didn’t see the need for an apology.

“But she started it,” I wailed.

“And you are going to be the bigger person and finish it,” was Mom's reply. At least she didn’t tell me "Yours will be the moral victory."  We often heard those words from Mom.

In my years as a reporter I watched with bemused detachment as one faction argued with another.

Bitter angry words would be exchanged and it seldom lead to resolution.  

King, before he retired, probably had to deal with more than his share of teen battles, retaliations and the like.  Teen angst can be difficult. Parental involvement can be devastating. 

The lesson learned from Mom could go a long way for everyone. For the little spats in life, for the small disagreements, for the peeking over the fence and trying for one-up-man-ship, being the bigger person can go a long way.