Some days the assholes win

 Happy Holidays!

I hope you are all well, safe, and content.

King and I spent last week helping our daughter with her sons as she shifted into high gear to get her real estate sales going. She has been in a holding pattern for several months waiting for some additional help. I’m happy to report she finished the year strong. Let us hope it will continue.

While we were there we enjoyed all the traditional preparations for the holiday – we baked cookies, made cookies for Santa, baked other holiday goodies and made secret packages for Christmas morning. The boys are not very good at keeping secrets, so our daughter already knows, but it was the thought that counts.

We also spent hours on their balcony looking for Hippogriffs. Hippogriffs, for the uninformed, are mythical creatures from the Harry Potter series. We have quite a list of rules and guidelines for searching for them.

This week the boys are with their father and King and I have retreated to our trailer. The campground is sparsely populated and those of us who are here have decorated our travel trailers with holiday cheer and hunkered down in our quiet solitude. No one interacts (pandemic guidelines) other than to wave hello when going for walks. It’s been years since King and I were social creatures so this is our normal.

At one time in our marriage we were quite social. Most of that ended with his tenure as a middle school principal in a small town in southwest Michigan. One can say small towns are friendly – but they are not – at least not to strangers who try to fit in. It took us less than a year to figure out we would never be accepted and the locals would never consider us one of “their own.” In fact, it was so bad, that when we moved to another community, part of King’s yearly job review included becoming active in the community. King said he would forgo any raises if it meant trying to fit in with people who would never accept outsiders.

For those of you who still live in small towns, I would suggest you greet the stranger in your church. I would suggest you invite your new neighbor over for coffee. I would recommend you do not exclude someone because you have decided they might feel uncomfortable with a group of people they do not know. Because guess what? They probably will never get to know others unless they are invited. Don’t just give lip service to acting kind. Be kind.

I started writing today with the intention of writing about Christmas traditions when I was a child. They are good memories. They were happy times. My parents moved to my hometown several years before I was born. I’m happy they were accepted into the community. Without that acceptance I have no doubt my childhood memories would be quite different. And therein lays the rub. I had eagerly anticipated moving to a small community again. I was bitterly disappointed.

Some days the assholes win … and they don’t even know it.