Coddiwomple

Coddiwomple is British slang meaning to travel purposefully toward an as-yet-unknown destination.

Taken from the Mindful Travel Facebook page

That's King and I. We don't know where we are going, but we are heading there in a determined fashion.

Right now there is really no destination or set goal in our meandering. I know we will be back in Michigan for the summer. The plan is for  King to continue playing in his Tuesday golf league as well as participate in weekend golf scrambles with our sons.

For our daughters-in-law, golf scrambles are not top on the list of fun things husbands do. I must admit I was right there with them in my intense hatred of golf when our children were young. Now that the children are grown and I find my unencumbered time a joy...King can participate in as many scrambles as he likes. Sorry ladies. I feel your pain, but I don't participate in it. I just need to find King a summer man-cave so I don't have to join him in his post-golf celebratory late-night music-fests. (I despise those more than I ever did the golf).

In the meantime we will relish our purposeful travel to parts unknown.

One thing has changed.

When we first started out on this adventure I had this secret image of meeting people and writing feature articles about them. There are a lot of interesting people out there with stories to tell.

Case in point -- the gentleman who serves as the campground host at the remote national forest campground where King and I escape to quite regularly. He truly is a fascinating character, and in the four minutes I spoke with him, I learned he used to work for the city of Lemon Grove, Calif., and when the opportunity to take over as campground host was presented to him, he jumped at the offer. A part of me would like to know more. What it is like to live alone during the week only to have the solitude invaded on the weekends by people who are either seeking escape themselves or who are out to have a good time partying? What does he do all day long? Does he get lonely? What are some of the strangest things he has seen?  But my reality is, after years (and years and years) of talking to strangers and writing stories about their lives...I just don't have it in me any longer. I'm tired. So I settle for snippets of information.

My imagination serves me better than reality most times anyway.

In the meantime between campground visits, we are having a good time spending time with our daughter and her family.

This past week she has been attending a real estate seminar in La Jolla, which means King and I have been taking the boys to school for her. They attend school in a different school district so every morning we have a commute to school. And this is California. Land of the multiple highways and never-ending traffic. Although the school is just seven miles from their home, it takes 20 minutes or more to get there. (By the way, school districts in California do not provide free busing for students. Students either walk, pay to ride the school bus, or their parents take them to school).

And I am back in elementary school again. It's a little different from the school of my youth, or even that of our children's youth. Each morning after the 7:25 a.m. bell, a mini-assembly is held in the  courtyard outside the classrooms. Parents and children alike attend. Mom's in sweatpants, pushing strollers, Moms in business clothes, Dads in suits and Dads in jeans -- they all participate. The assembly starts with reciting the Pledge, (yes, even in "liberal" California, they still recite the Pledge of Allegiance. And just because my political views lean to the left, does not mean I don't approve of reciting the pledge -- don't get me going), announcements are made, and they sing a song, or hand out awards, etc.

Mornings are on the cooler side -- high 50s to low 60s -- I arrive in a t-shirt and jeans because "back home" this would be flip-flop weather. Other parents are wearing down-filled vests and scarves. I have to remember to dress the boys in their hoodies or I get the "what is wrong with their grandmother" look from other parents.

And speaking of weather...It's been different not having to dress in winter coats, boots, hats, mittens and scarves. I can (and do) run out to the mailbox barefoot. Although I will miss Christmas shopping with snow softly falling, I could easily get used to this.

Our new life

We have officially been "on the road" for about a month.

Technically that is a misnomer. We left Michigan on November 8, and drove like crazy people to arrive at our daughter's home five days later in order to babysit while they took a mini-vacation. We almost made it in four days, but strong winds in Arizona forced us to hunker-down early to wait out the wind. There is little worse than pulling a swaying trailer through mountain passes.

We have been staying at our daughter's home off and on since arriving and will continue to do so until shortly after the holidays or until our son-in-law runs screaming from the house, whichever comes first. The two of them have a lot of holiday parties, farewell parties for co-workers, and work conferences between now and the new year. We are needed and it has been enjoyable to do "grandparent duty" for them. But it is a fine line between helping out and "over-staying your welcome," as my mother used to say.

Flexibility is one of the joys of having no hard and fast plans, but it is also something we have to get used to. Or at least I have to get used to it. King keeps himself busy by working on all kinds of projects at our daughter's house. Some of them she asked him to do, others he found on his own. I'm not certain if she really wanted them done or is just too polite to ask him: "What the heck did you do now?" I know that is the way I was with my father.  So many times I wanted to say, "Thanks Dad but I really had different plans for the breezeway (or whatever)." My father had a difficult time with our project timetables, which generally were based on bills, golf outings and paychecks -- meaning projects would be started, bills would come up or an all-important golf scramble was scheduled and project completion would be pushed back months.

As I write this I am watching our daughter and King put together a lighted "Happy Holidays" sign to place on her garage roof. I THINK it is the last of the outdoor Christmas decorations.

I enjoy watching the two of them work together. Our daughter has grandiose ideas which she patiently explains to her father over and over again until that one "ah ha" moment when he finally "gets it." He really is not that obtuse, he just has problems conceptualizing abstract ideas. Where I will throw up my hands in absolute frustration while trying to explain something to him, our daughter will keep trying until her ideas come across. Of course it helps that they have not been married 42 years and that daughters and daddies tend to have more patience with one another than husbands and wives.

I have enjoyed being a part of holiday traditions in a new home. Our daughter has taken a mix of the traditions she grew up with and blended them with the traditions of her husband.  We spent two weekends ago shopping for a Christmas tree and decorating the outside of the house with lights that would rival the Griswolds from the movie "Christmas Vacation." This past weekend the tree has finally been decorated and Sunday night was the last night for lighting candles on the Menorah. They have been teaching the boys about reason, self-esteem, courage, freedom, love, loyalty, generosity and hope. I hope the traditions they are starting now are something their boys will continue when they are grown.

Back "home" in Michigan our sons have blended our family traditions with those of their wives. It has been enjoyable to watch this -- the give and take and working to make things work to create new family traditions -- traditions that I hope will become ingrained only to change again when the grandchildren become adults. My daughter and I were discussing this the other day. She was surprised to learn that some of the Christmas traditions we followed as she was growing up were a combination of Stehower and McCrossin traditions. Some were our own invention.

Wishing everyone a blessed holiday season and may your traditions bring you comfort and joy. Best wishes for a great New Year.