I learned self-reliance from my father

If Dad ever felt out-numbered by a household with five women, he never let us know. But I would guess it certainly must have been trying at times.

Dad always had definite ideas about how a young lady should behave. We were never, ever allowed to call boys on the phone. They could call us and we could talk until he would walk into the kitchen and point at the clock. But call a boy? Never. Ride the circuit on Eighth Street in Holland? Heaven forbid. Drive on a date? Nope. Drive a boyfriend's car? Out of the question. In fact, as far as Dad was concerned driving a boyfriend's car was akin to premarital sex. Both were for after marriage.

Between he and Mom we were always taught to be "lady-like" but  that did not mean "helpless."

Mom taught us to cook, clean and sew. Dad taught us to hammer a nail straight, change a flat tire and fend for ourselves.

I am surprised by the number of women who say if they ever have a flat tire they would have to call road service. My biggest problem with a flat tire would be lug nuts turned too tightly.

Last night while at work I got in my car to grab something to eat during my break. The car would not go into reverse. I drive a car with a manual transmission. The gears ground and generally made a horrendous noise and refused to shift. I finally did manage to back a little way, but then could not get it into first gear. After some consternation and the realization the clutch was simply flopping around uselessly, I did manager to get into first gear and drive to the drive-thru for a salad and cup of soup. (I do have my priorities). I drove it back to work and backed it into a parking space so if it still wouldn't shift properly when I left work (maybe the clutch faeries would come and fix it under the cover of darkness, right?) at least it would be facing in the right direction.

One of my co-workers was quite aghast that King did not drop everything, drive the 30 miles to where I work and "help me out." I'm really not certain what King was supposed to do. I still had four hours left on my shift. Leaving early was not an option.This person obviously didn't know I had been taught self-reliance at an early age and that the depth of my stubbornness knows no bounds.

I called King and told him to sit close to the phone in case I got stranded on my way home. Since this is the third time the clutch has gone out on the car this summer (so far we've only had to pay for repairs once) he really didn't believe me. Both the washer and car dying in one week? He didn't think it was possible.My less than enthusiastic demeanor with him on the phone was probably what convinced him I was not playing a practical joke. But I'm sure he remained hopeful.

"I'm really disappointed in King," I was told later in the evening.

King was doing what needed to be done -- waiting with hopeful skepticism to see if I needed him to come get me.  Truth be told, he had little doubt I would eventually manage to get the car home.

We both are too cheap to have the car towed 30 miles. I decided I would get the little beastie home if I had to push it most of the way myself. I certainly didn't need King to sit there with me. He knew I had it covered and I would call if I didn't. Besides after close to 40 years of marriage we both knew it probably would not end on a high note if  we actually had to try to get it home together.

We had planned to replace the car sometime before I "retire." We had hoped to be able to do it closer to that magical time so I wouldn't be putting 3,000 miles a month on it driving to and from work. We also want to pay cash and aren't quite ready for a cash purchase -- unless we decide we are in the market for another clunker. Our current backup vehicle is a 22 year old rusted out "baby" truck with questionable brakes and brand new tires.We don't need its twin in our driveway. 

So in the end, when I left work around 11 p.m., I played  with the clutch until I could get it into gear. I somehow managed to get it through all the gears and into fifth -- taking a lot of corners much too fast and praying I didn't take anyone out when I did. I made it to South Haven and got off at the exit, the light was green and I stomped on the gas and managed to get home. There was no coasting into the driveway, the clutch was not working so there was no going into neutral. But I did get the car parked in the middle of the drive so it can be loaded onto a flatbed (with a crane maybe?) and taken to the dealership.

And like Dad taught me. . . I didn't need a man to help me do it.