What would Mom have done?

We have an ongoing family disaster at our home. It's volatile, heartbreaking and difficult to know what to do. It involves one of our children and his new family. Suffice it to say blended families are seldom Brady Bunch-esque.

After yet another blow-up at our home, which I did not handle very well  I'm left feeling frustrated, guilty and sad. I can't help but wonder how my mother would have handled it.

Mom was the epitome of class. I don't believe she ever engaged in gossip. I don't believe she ever jumped on a bandwagon for a cause she didn't support one hundred percent.

When the high school in Hamilton was new and a group of parents banded together to "get ride of" an individual, the group was rather deflated when mom refused to join.

At the time I had no idea what was going on, but Mom -- when relating the story to me years later -- said she told the person who called her she would not join their "lynch mob." I was surprised at her words. I would have thought Mom would have found a more diplomatic way to say no. But there are times when brutal honesty is probably best. So I asked Mom, "What happened next."

"Nothing, I guess," Mom said. "I think I kind of took the wind out of their sails."

How cool is that?

I'm not certain how Mom would have handled this situation. But I kind of have a sense that even if she were still with us and in a normal state of mind, she would not get involved. I honestly believe she would tell me to step back and stop trying to fix things.

I have this uncontrollable need to make things better. To fix it. And I can't. I would give anything to have Mom give me instructions from the great beyond and tell me how to handle it. But I guess in a way she has. That still small voice is telling me . . . Let it go.