The forbidden words

Growing up we knew better than to ever swear in front of Mom. Common, vulgar or coarse language was simply not allowed. And taking the Lord's name in vain was never an option. Even the words "Holy Cow" were frowned upon. "Cows aren't holy," she would say. (Well, at least not -- for the most part -- in the United States).

In fact, so ingrained in our tender psyches was the the list of forbidden words that I can still remember the first time I swore. I said sh-- while my younger sister and I were building a snow fort and the carefully mounded snow for our opening caved in. I think I was 12. (A few months later I let loose with a few more choice words when thrown from a horse, but that's another story).

Mom also had a  list of colloquialisms that were not allowed. The list included:

• Yet too -- also, as well (I think I have to peel those potatoes yet too).
• Maint'en -- As in you may not do that. (You maint'en cross the street without the crossing guard to assist you. You might get into trouble yet too if you do).
• Main't -- see above.
• Ain't -- are not, is not, am not. (I ain't going to say ain't).
• Ain so -- As in correct or right? (All the stores are closed in Hamilton on Sunday, ain so)?
• Oh guy or oh ha -- A Dutch colloquialism for Oh my or Oh man. (Oh guy! Now I have to peel those potatoes yet too).
• Whatcha - As in Whatcha gonna do? (Peeling potatoes is a difficult task, but whatcha gonna do?)
• Doncha know -- Don't you know? (Now she has to peel those potatoes yet too, doncha know?)
• Seen -- I seen it on TV.
• Ma - A huge mistake and never used.

My sisters and I also had list of words we would use to tease Mom:

• Palm for Psalm (Biblical)
• Swa-vay for suave
• De-Boner for debonair
• Sop-his-ta-cated for sophisticated
• Fa-cade for facade 

Mom would always admonish, "One day you are going to use those words in front of someone, they are going to correct you, and you will be embarrassed."

Mom was right, of course. One day I let fa-cade slip out in front of an editor, who did, of course correct me. There wasn't much I could do. . . . Busted. By a word-smith.

But, surprisingly one of the biggest forbidden words was "Shut up."

Growing up, we were led to believe that telling someone to "Shut up" was akin to using the most vulgar word in the English language. It was simply not allowed.

In dire circumstances we were allowed to use "Be Quite" or Mom's favorite, "Keep still," but somehow those just don't have the same emphatic emphasis that "shut up" does.

I had forgotten the forbidden word until the other day my sister reminded me. We were having breakfast with Mom at our usual Saturday morning gathering when she said, "Do you remember how Mom felt about saying 'Shut up?'"

How could one forget? One of my siblings loved to tease and tease and tease.



Bellowing "Be Quite" when being teased unmercifully only serves to encourage more teasing.  I fear I was tormented often just so she could see me clench my fists, tense my knees, turn red-faced and yell, "Be Quite!"

Oh Guy! The teasing was relentless, yet too, doncha know.